What do you think of this idea? Please offer your feedback!

[lotrfan]

Hey everyone, first off, I want to thank you for reading this, because that means you decided to choose this post out of the hundreds of topics in the forum, and that makes me feel good inside. Anyways, I had this idea, and here it is.

A kid accidentally clones himself in the basement, but then realizes that his parents are coming home in two hours, which means that he has to somehow come up with enough money to build a spaceship to send him away. Along with the help of his/their friend Jordan, they manage to sneakily make their way into their 90 year old neighbor's home, and steal her 14 cats, which they sell for $3000 on eBay. Then they use the money to build a spaceship, and send the clone to Gliese 581c, the closest known earth-like planet. The End.

Whew, all that typing makes me sweaty. Anyways, I hope that made some sense, and please offer your feedback, it's very important!

'K, I took out some of the more confusing descriptions, and changed some parts around. It's even better now.

Oops, noticed some mistakes. Edited those out as well.

 

[cybersarge]

Three words: What the fuck?! Dude, e thinks you might need to rethink at least 99.99% percent of that story.

 

[Red Prince]

Just don't be surprised if everyone is laughing at you because cloning takes nine months and does not give you a twin your own age but a newborn with the same genes as you.

 

[lotrfan]

Cool, thanks for the feedback! I'll keep that in mind when coming up with a draft.

 

[ovi]

it could do good in the senseless comedy genre

 

[lotrfan]

And that's exactly why it makes no sense.

 

[maestro]

dude, i think it sounds good the way it is. the best thing a writer can do is make up something totally original, even if no one gets it.

 

[cybersarge]

Damn it! The dude's right. Lol. Write it, see what happen's you never know.

 

[Screenplay Readers]

LOL! I think this is right up my alley. Silly and random. I'd plunk down $8 to see this. Write it! Write it!

Brian

 

[Pippa]

I think it's a great idea. I'm serious. If done right, it could be a really funny movie.

What comes to mind is Galaxy Quest and Men in Black.

 

[RiViT]

Cloning Story

Cloning Story

Hi,

I have to come in on the "love it" side. Sure, it seems to be all over the map right now, but that's one of the things that I love about it. It's mostly a matter of finding semi-reasonable (or not, if you prefer) reasons for everything. The tricky bit will be coming up with an elevator pitch, but it's not impossible.

Sounds like it would make a great kid's movie and, for that reason, I think you can ignore the length of time it takes to create a clone (after all, Michael Keaton did).

One question I think you need to answer for yourself before you dive in is: Why does he have to send his clone to another planet? Answer that one, and I think you've got a very zany comedy that just might appeal to the kid in all (or at least most) of us.

Also, I'd like to suggest that instead of stealing the cats, they find them abandoned in the woods behind the old lady's house, abandoned because she's dead. It would also give you a great "chase" scene when they attempt to round up the cats. Having them do the cats a favor by finding them new homes on eBay would also get your audience solidly on their side.

 

[jodymichelle]

Add a kind of human emotional touch to it- he think's it's that easy to send away his own clone, but when he looks into his own clone's eyes... It could be a brief moment that lasts only seconds or can change the plot completely...

On another note, if he was a sci fi whiz kid that figured out a way to clone himself even through accidental experimentation and has the skillz to build a spaceship,... stealing and selling his neighbor's cats to sell on ebay doesn't sound consistent with the character... I think he'd come up with something more creative than that... Maybe that was his first "oh crap" immature gut-reaction-brainstorm and you can create a scene where he's imagining this in his mind but doesn't follow through with it. But if he's "stealing" from an elderly character, and her cats, no less, and then to add to it, he's "selling" these sweet, little innocent kitties on ebay... might not gain points with the audience who you want to care for your character and care about what happens to him,...

Continuing from RiViT's suggestion about the cats,... another exercise is try changing it to-

just as he's about to do the cats a favor by finding them new homes on eBay, he changes his mind last minute, and decides he must move them safely to a humane animal shelter that does not euthanize (except under extreme circumstances) and where animals are adopted, not sold. This adds yet another obstacle and struggle to meet his "deadline". It's an opportunity to add human elements and drama while at the core the story's a comedy. One of the things that's satisfying when watching some comedies is finding yourself "laughing out loud crying" and actually switching between emotions and feeling "that's rolling on the floor hilarious but that's also very touching".





-

 

[SuperFly47]

The movie is about a quest to get the clone to another planet? Obstacles constantly come up, like trouble getting money for space ship and building it. The clone could get into trouble. Possible love triangle where a girl the kid is crazy about falls in love with the clone. He is tempted to send the clone to the planet and replace him. Looks like he will but conscious wins out and sends her with him. Or A nemesis could find out and screws things up.

Tons of stuff you can do with it.

Has potential for some hilarius lines where parents are wondering the kid is doing, building a space ship would take a ton of equipment, room and time. Clone has discussion with parents, agrees to do stuff or royally screws up and the kid has to fix it.

Mom: What happened to my fish? It looks like someone ate them and put the bones back in? I told you to feed them not feed yourself with them.

Kid: Why would he do that? I made him hot dogs.

Mom: Who?

Kid: Oh, nothing. Never mind.

It reminded me of a family guy episode where Stewie cloned himself, you should check it out.

Just don't be surprised if everyone is laughing at you because cloning takes nine months and does not give you a twin your own age but a newborn with the same genes as you.

Doesn't matter if its not scientifically possible, tons of stuff aren't that are used in movies.

The rule for premises is their are no rules. You can state anything, no matter how impossible and everyone accepts it. Superman, finding nemo, where fish talk, the movie where the cleaning up trash robot talks, Harry Potter. Anything, anything you want.

 

[BrentwoodPepper]

Clone boy.

Clone boy.

Get rid of the cat bit it doesn't match the scientific tone you've set with your other two elements -- spaceship creation and human creation -- instead do ________ creation to solve your money problem (you fill in the blank).

If the kid has the brains to clone himself and build a spaceship he's got the brains to do something else really clever -- stolen cats and E-bay doesn't come to mind as the genius idea this kid is capable of.

Story wise, you have to have a GREAT reason why his clone needs to be sent to ______ planet. Otherwise simply drowning him in a canvas sack seems appropriate (sticking with the cat analogue -- sorry...) or getting him on a bus to Tuscon... or making him go to school instead of busy evil genius boy... or engaging in clone trickery to turn a buck... whatever -- it's got to be THE ONLY VIABLE OPTION -- then and only then is there any stakes involved in the kid's grand spaceship plan -- and the only reason we CARE if it looks like he might fail. We have to care that he might fail -- and YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE HE'S GOING TO FAIL -- huge obstacles, insurmountable odds, terrible antagonists, impossible situations, absolutely no possible way he can do it... Except he does.

So can you. Go do it.

 

[WilkesAnimations]

The story has to captivate the audience and make them interested the whole way through. No offense but I would walk out the cinema if I saw this. It doesn't interest me and the story is silly. Keep trying though

 

[Forty]

I see nothing wrong with the idea at all. Of course it needs structure etc. But you're onto a winner. As long as you can keep this original spontaneity going.