T
theonecalledsteph
Guest
Hi Everybody,
I’m a final year student studying Computing and Multimedia at the University Of Huddersfield, England. I am creating a mini-series of satirical comedy animations based on Formula One for my final year project.
I’m looking for any feedback, positive or negative on my scripts for each animation, formatting, content, have they achieved satirical humour?
Thanks in advance to anyone who can help.
Stephanie
I have 4 short scripts below for you to read and critique:
1.-MASSA’S QUICK GETAWAY –
By Stephanie Taylor
(Pre-title sequence)
FADE IN:
EXT. FERRARI GARAGE SINGAPORE PITLANE – NIGHT
MASSA / ENGINEER
During the first night race held in Singapore, driver for the Ferrari team, Felipe Massa pulls into the pit lane and into the Ferrari garage. He completes a normal pit stop, with a change of tyres and refuelling. However, before the fuel nozzle is removed Massa pulls away and begins to drive down the pit lane. The team engineer shouts after Massa and he stops and gets out of the car and speaks back to the engineer.
ENGINEER
Oi, you can’t do that!
MASSA
You mean I have to pay for fuel?!
FADE OUT:
FADE IN:
EXT. POST-RACE INTERVIEW – NIGHT
MASSA / INTERVIEWER
On his way to leave the track after the race Massa answers a few press questions.
INTERVIEWER
Why did you drive off with the fuel hose?
MASSA
Thought I’d keep it until I next filled up!
FADE TO BLACK:
(End credits)
2.-ALONSO VS. HAMILTON: THE RE-MATCH –
By Stephanie Taylor
(Pre-title sequence)
FADE IN:
EXT. PODIUM SINGAPORE NIGHT RACE – NIGHT
ALONSO / HAMILTON / ROSBERG
After the first night race held in Singapore, driver for Renault, Fernando Alonso took the win. He battled hard for the win, but Hamilton battled equally hard to make his way back up the field to finish in third place. On the podium, ex-team mates Alonso and Hamilton are reunited. Lewis talks to Alonso with a smug grin on his face. Alonso is displeased with what has been said to him.
HAMILTON
I thought I’d let you win one.
FADE OUT:
FADE IN:
EXT. PODIUM SINGAPORE NIGHT RACE – A FEW MOMENTS LATER
ALONSO / HAMILTON / ROSBERG
Scene fades back in a few moments later again with all three winners. Alonso hits Hamilton over the head with his 1st place trophy and knocks him out cold. Alonso smirks and grins to himself and thinks out loud.
ALONSO
This should put him out of the running for a while!
FADE TO BLACK:
(End credits)
3.-THE POWER OF FERRARI RED –
By Stephanie Taylor
(Pre-title sequence)
FADE IN:
EXT. VALENCIA RACE PIT LANE– DAY
MASSA / SUTIL
In the midst of an exciting race both Adrian Sutil and Felipe Massa enter the pit lane for their pit stops. Sutil exits his team garage and begins to drive down the pit lane at the correct speed. Just then the Ferrari of Felipe Massa shoots in front of him. Sutil breaks and beeps his horn. Massa points up to a sign. Just then, Sutil looks up to see the Ferrari give way sign flashing.
FADE OUT:
FADE IN:
EXT. VALENCIA RACE TRACK - DAY
SUTIL
Adrian Sutil is called into the pit lane via a message on his radio from his race engineer to complete a 10 second stop and go penalty for cutting up a Ferrari in the pit lane.
FADE TO BLACK:
(End credits)
4.-BERNIE’S THEORY –
By Stephanie Taylor
(Pre-title sequence)
FADE IN:
EXT. END OF SEASON PODIUM – DAY
BERNIE ECCLESTONE / HAMILTON / MASSA / RAIKKONEN
At the post-season podium where the trophies are being handed out to the top 3 drivers of the 2008 season Bernie Ecclestone rudely interrupts and puts in place his theory of who should of won and why. Trophies are taken off the drivers and instead medals are handed out based upon how many races each driver has won. This means Massa would take the championship title from Hamilton as they won 6 and 5 races respectively. Hamilton is not impressed by this, Massa is overjoyed, Raikkonen doesn’t care and Bernie seems overly pleased with himself.
FADE TO BLACK:
(End credits)
~Thanks for reading~
I’m a final year student studying Computing and Multimedia at the University Of Huddersfield, England. I am creating a mini-series of satirical comedy animations based on Formula One for my final year project.
I’m looking for any feedback, positive or negative on my scripts for each animation, formatting, content, have they achieved satirical humour?
Thanks in advance to anyone who can help.
Stephanie
I have 4 short scripts below for you to read and critique:
1.-MASSA’S QUICK GETAWAY –
By Stephanie Taylor
(Pre-title sequence)
FADE IN:
EXT. FERRARI GARAGE SINGAPORE PITLANE – NIGHT
MASSA / ENGINEER
During the first night race held in Singapore, driver for the Ferrari team, Felipe Massa pulls into the pit lane and into the Ferrari garage. He completes a normal pit stop, with a change of tyres and refuelling. However, before the fuel nozzle is removed Massa pulls away and begins to drive down the pit lane. The team engineer shouts after Massa and he stops and gets out of the car and speaks back to the engineer.
ENGINEER
Oi, you can’t do that!
MASSA
You mean I have to pay for fuel?!
FADE OUT:
FADE IN:
EXT. POST-RACE INTERVIEW – NIGHT
MASSA / INTERVIEWER
On his way to leave the track after the race Massa answers a few press questions.
INTERVIEWER
Why did you drive off with the fuel hose?
MASSA
Thought I’d keep it until I next filled up!
FADE TO BLACK:
(End credits)
2.-ALONSO VS. HAMILTON: THE RE-MATCH –
By Stephanie Taylor
(Pre-title sequence)
FADE IN:
EXT. PODIUM SINGAPORE NIGHT RACE – NIGHT
ALONSO / HAMILTON / ROSBERG
After the first night race held in Singapore, driver for Renault, Fernando Alonso took the win. He battled hard for the win, but Hamilton battled equally hard to make his way back up the field to finish in third place. On the podium, ex-team mates Alonso and Hamilton are reunited. Lewis talks to Alonso with a smug grin on his face. Alonso is displeased with what has been said to him.
HAMILTON
I thought I’d let you win one.
FADE OUT:
FADE IN:
EXT. PODIUM SINGAPORE NIGHT RACE – A FEW MOMENTS LATER
ALONSO / HAMILTON / ROSBERG
Scene fades back in a few moments later again with all three winners. Alonso hits Hamilton over the head with his 1st place trophy and knocks him out cold. Alonso smirks and grins to himself and thinks out loud.
ALONSO
This should put him out of the running for a while!
FADE TO BLACK:
(End credits)
3.-THE POWER OF FERRARI RED –
By Stephanie Taylor
(Pre-title sequence)
FADE IN:
EXT. VALENCIA RACE PIT LANE– DAY
MASSA / SUTIL
In the midst of an exciting race both Adrian Sutil and Felipe Massa enter the pit lane for their pit stops. Sutil exits his team garage and begins to drive down the pit lane at the correct speed. Just then the Ferrari of Felipe Massa shoots in front of him. Sutil breaks and beeps his horn. Massa points up to a sign. Just then, Sutil looks up to see the Ferrari give way sign flashing.
FADE OUT:
FADE IN:
EXT. VALENCIA RACE TRACK - DAY
SUTIL
Adrian Sutil is called into the pit lane via a message on his radio from his race engineer to complete a 10 second stop and go penalty for cutting up a Ferrari in the pit lane.
FADE TO BLACK:
(End credits)
4.-BERNIE’S THEORY –
By Stephanie Taylor
(Pre-title sequence)
FADE IN:
EXT. END OF SEASON PODIUM – DAY
BERNIE ECCLESTONE / HAMILTON / MASSA / RAIKKONEN
At the post-season podium where the trophies are being handed out to the top 3 drivers of the 2008 season Bernie Ecclestone rudely interrupts and puts in place his theory of who should of won and why. Trophies are taken off the drivers and instead medals are handed out based upon how many races each driver has won. This means Massa would take the championship title from Hamilton as they won 6 and 5 races respectively. Hamilton is not impressed by this, Massa is overjoyed, Raikkonen doesn’t care and Bernie seems overly pleased with himself.
FADE TO BLACK:
(End credits)
~Thanks for reading~
