If you are going to take this seriously...
If you are going to take this seriously...
Then take it seriously. Read as many books as you can on screenwriting, find out all the do's and don't's. Read scripts that have been made into successful movies.
I've done nothing to warrant an opinion on anyone's scripts, but you might want to get your head in a book before you start typing again. There are screenplay standards that need to be followed to ever get your stuff looked at by studios or agents, and you failed to follow a single one. I'm not even talking about your margins or font or anything like that.
Instead of writing, "We see Steve" everytime you should be writing "Steve kneels...". Screenplays are the written version of what appears on the screen. It's that simple. You aren't watching it in the past, you are watching it right now. So, you are watching Steve kneel. Joe runs across. To his left, Jeremy stands against the wall.
Your actions are way too long. Big blocks of ink are no-no's.
You need to read as many books as you can get your hands on.
