On The Run.

[BoOm_ThOuGhT]

I've thought of a new story, which has now become my first priority.

I haven't fully thought of a complete story of such, just a rough outline. All I know is that the main character is on the run, and that he has a little girl with him. Not sure how old to have the girl, though she would be under 15.

The beginning starts of at a train station. We focus on the girl as the guy hasn't been introduced yet. The girl is all alone, scruffy looking (possibly homeless). Train arrives, she gets on. On this train journey we get introduced to a man, who ends up on the run.

What I need is is some help with why could this man be on the run, and why would he end up protecting this girl he knows little about?

I was thinking of having the man maybe as a retired hitman who is on the run by another agency/enemy or something.

The setting of the film is in a near, bleak future England. Think Children of Men.

Any help or questions will be great.


- BoOm

 

[ralck]

Re: On The Run.

I was thinking of having the man maybe as a retired hitman who is on the run by another agency/enemy or something.

No offense, but that sounds a lot like the Bourne movies. I personally would try and stray away from something like that as it might be considered a copy (although we all know it wasn't intended as that).


I think the biggest question you need to think about right now is, is he running away from something or towards something? If you break down most movies with similar kind of plots, you'll find the character is actually running towards something (for example, the uncovering of a government conspiracy or something like that). Maybe he witnessed some sort of torture happen to the girl, and is trying to uncover it while at the same time protect her (hence all the running around)?
To me, your story seems to revolve more around the girl than the guy. Maybe try thinking about why she would be on the run. Try even thinking about the guy being interchangable (as in he's not anything specific as a retired hitman).

That's just my take on it. Keep in mind, I've never tried to write an action film myself, so my advice might not be very good.

 

[BoOm_ThOuGhT]

No offense, but that sounds a lot like the Bourne movies. I personally would try and stray away from something like that as it might be considered a copy (although we all know it wasn't intended as that).

I can see what you mean, but it really isn't like the Bourne movies at all. I've kind of figured out most of the narrative now and the only thing that would probably be the same as the Bourne movies is that the guy in the story is a hitman of some sort. The agency in my story isn't like a government run thing or any thing similar, it's just a small business for people to earn money. It's more like a mini cab service. The more I develop the story in my head, the less it becomes your typical chase movie.

To me, your story seems to revolve more around the girl than the guy. Maybe try thinking about why she would be on the run.

Yeah you're right, it is the girl's story. The guy is linked in a good way I like to think. He is kind of like the bad guy you end up liking.

I don't consider this an action film, like, say the Bourne movies. I like to think of it more of a character driven drama, set in the bleak near future with some action in it.

Hope that's helped. Thanks again for you advice ralck, all notes taken on board.

- BoOm

 

[pusser]

You say you've now figured out most of the narrative, but since I don't know what that narrative says, here's the first thing that came to my mind as I read your set-up and the recommendation not to have him running from the mob.

He's running from his life. His wife and daughter were killed in a car accident. He was driving, but he survived. For weeks/months he is haunted with despair and guilt, and finally decides he has to leave....where to, he doesn't know....but he has to go.

He won't drive a car....he'll NEVER drive again knowing what he did to his family....so he gets on the train, bound for parts unknown, not caring where it goes nor how long he'll be aboard. There he sees fleeting glimpes of the girl aboard the train, mixed with flashbacks of his deceased daughter's life. Is she real, or a figment of his imagination? He's fascinated by her, and over the course of their train-to-nowhere ride they connect in a sad but hopeful way, and he begins to find some glimpse of a reason to live.

Why is she on the train....and by herself? I have an idea or two, but I won't share them right now unless someone's interested.