Plot for my script

[fridayjack1]

Actually, instead of posting a short plot. I'll basically tell you what happens xD

A teenager (Violet) ends up drug dealing after a man (Damien) gives her the job. She needs the money because her mother is in debt. Soon she falls for him. He soon learns Violet's mother hates her because her stepfather forced himself on her when she was underage, a few times (Violet ended up falling in love with him)

So soon Violet runs away with Damien and he is soon killed by a drug dealer. And we soon learn Violet has some illness (???) and ends up getting revenge on the drug dealer by seducing him then burning him alive.

Thoughts?

BE HONEST. And feedback on how I can improve it

 

[dorton79]

I assume her mom hates her because she knows that either Violet loves her step-father or vise versa? Anyhow, like the idea. Very dark plot to me. I would maybe make it that her illness is what she uses to get even with the drug dealer. Like someone who has HIV would inject someone with thier blood. Maybe not HIV, but something that could really mess him up mixed with the wrong blood type or something.

But I like the plot idea....

Don

 

[easywriter]

Hi,
maybe this will help?
The guy who kills Damien was one of Violet's new contacts. She's supposed to meet him but continues to throw up violently before. Damien forces her to call off the meeting and she only agrees to once Damien promises to go in her place (The contact promises her an opportunity that could allow them to leave this life behind)...The contact kills Damien and Violet becomes consumed with regret...she then learns she contracted HIV (as stated by a previous messenger) from a contaminated needle...before her time is up she vows to persue and take revenge.......
Good luck with screenplay!! Oh and check out www.icfragments.com ...there a new production company and have a couple great contests .... really cheap too .. anyways, take it easy dude!

 

[albertioti]

Kind of cliche but that doesn't mean it won't work or sell.

How about adding some spice: like Violet, Damien and mother etc are all in Afghanistan, posted there for some reason (or Colombia or the Sahara or whetever).

Instead of dealing because of mother's debt, how about she comes across a caravan of Bedouins (in the Sahara) or monks (in Burma) and innocently gets involved in a smuggling operation.

How about adding some other dimensions - like her real father is a senator or something and hugely corrupt.

See what I mean.

 

[Kim Welch]

you might do it better

you might do it better

you might be able to do it better or more moving than other people with a flair not known or from a different angle. Just because places around the world like central park has been sketched and painted didn't stop great painters from painting it again.

 

[jodymichelle]

it might be hard to accept/like the main character if the last thing she does is take revenge by killing. what if it's self defense?





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