i would greatly appreciate any feedback on this short I made. thanks very much.
http://vimeo.com/3901888
http://vimeo.com/3901888
New Flick, Dilettante
- Thread starter vaipan
- Start date
Dude
Dude
You can do so much better than this. Search for meaning? The first part was pretty cool for a moment. the infinite watching TV technique and the music went on to long. And then there was the very realistic drug scene. Was that part of the search for meaning? It was for me more of a watching people on pot, drinking, and snorting drugs and with no consequences.
I think maybe someone that gets high might like this. I don’t know. it was just bad in so many ways and if you were going to get into the drug world. Maybe you could show them getting arrested. Getting arrested does happen to drug users. And that means going to jail and then sometimes going back to jail and facing the judge. And getting drunk leads to all kinds of great drama. One thing you might try is getting loaded and crashing their cars and killing and crippling people. How about a two year old kid gets killed by the people leaving the party on cocain and drunk in a nasty car wreck...
Then for emphasis on the characters focus on his "search for meaning" show the little two year old kid laying in the street under the street light after the accident gasping for air and softly gurgle muttering "daddy, daddy," and the guys bloody girl friend is still chopping and snorting cocain while she is still buckled in the burning car or freaking out because she can’t find the baggy of cocaine or heroin while the kid breathes his last four or five breaths under the light all alone in the dark.
Then while the star of the movie who is "searching for meaning" is in jail, show his girl friend working as a prostitute turning tricks to buy drugs but she still cares enough for him to use some of the money to get him out of jail and of course not telling him she was a "working girl" And, then flash forward a few years and he has AIDS and he thinks he got it from sharing needles but it turns out she got AIDS and gave it to him. and, then he dies with the meaning of life escaping him like his last infected breath. I think these things might be more likely stories for drinking, druging cocain addicts, right?
Anyway, back to your movie. things get really strange after the “intellectual” conversation with the naked guy and … all the funky goofing around. I am guessing those are your friends and you wanted them to be in your movie. Maybe try writing a script and then getting people who are not your friends that are studying acting or theater to help you. After all the goofy stuff I just could not spend anymore of my Saturday watching your movie.
I suggest ( only a suggestion) you get serious and don't do the drugs and drinking or portray it without consequences. That life will only kill or mame or scar you and your friends. Don't make films that show happy fun life after hard drug use. It is not close to real. Your young. Give it a few years and some of the wild things i said will not seem so wild.
Keep the brain. Life is 100 times to short as it is and you are going to need or want all the cells in that synapses of that mind of yours working at some point. Make another movie and this time write a script or get one written and work with actors that want to make a career of it. And, get some help with the sound and editing. i don't want to watch another one like this. Please do something different. That is my feedback.
Dude
You can do so much better than this. Search for meaning? The first part was pretty cool for a moment. the infinite watching TV technique and the music went on to long. And then there was the very realistic drug scene. Was that part of the search for meaning? It was for me more of a watching people on pot, drinking, and snorting drugs and with no consequences.
I think maybe someone that gets high might like this. I don’t know. it was just bad in so many ways and if you were going to get into the drug world. Maybe you could show them getting arrested. Getting arrested does happen to drug users. And that means going to jail and then sometimes going back to jail and facing the judge. And getting drunk leads to all kinds of great drama. One thing you might try is getting loaded and crashing their cars and killing and crippling people. How about a two year old kid gets killed by the people leaving the party on cocain and drunk in a nasty car wreck...
Then for emphasis on the characters focus on his "search for meaning" show the little two year old kid laying in the street under the street light after the accident gasping for air and softly gurgle muttering "daddy, daddy," and the guys bloody girl friend is still chopping and snorting cocain while she is still buckled in the burning car or freaking out because she can’t find the baggy of cocaine or heroin while the kid breathes his last four or five breaths under the light all alone in the dark.
Then while the star of the movie who is "searching for meaning" is in jail, show his girl friend working as a prostitute turning tricks to buy drugs but she still cares enough for him to use some of the money to get him out of jail and of course not telling him she was a "working girl" And, then flash forward a few years and he has AIDS and he thinks he got it from sharing needles but it turns out she got AIDS and gave it to him. and, then he dies with the meaning of life escaping him like his last infected breath. I think these things might be more likely stories for drinking, druging cocain addicts, right?
Anyway, back to your movie. things get really strange after the “intellectual” conversation with the naked guy and … all the funky goofing around. I am guessing those are your friends and you wanted them to be in your movie. Maybe try writing a script and then getting people who are not your friends that are studying acting or theater to help you. After all the goofy stuff I just could not spend anymore of my Saturday watching your movie.
I suggest ( only a suggestion) you get serious and don't do the drugs and drinking or portray it without consequences. That life will only kill or mame or scar you and your friends. Don't make films that show happy fun life after hard drug use. It is not close to real. Your young. Give it a few years and some of the wild things i said will not seem so wild.
Keep the brain. Life is 100 times to short as it is and you are going to need or want all the cells in that synapses of that mind of yours working at some point. Make another movie and this time write a script or get one written and work with actors that want to make a career of it. And, get some help with the sound and editing. i don't want to watch another one like this. Please do something different. That is my feedback.
Last edited:
thanks!
thanks!
i truly enjoyed your base assumptions and long digression on a totally gnarly drug movie idea! my film was not a promotion of drug use, rather a repudiation. and i don't do drugs, but am surrounded, in my caste, by people who do in attempt to escape achieving something meaningful. but, wow, i've never heard one of my drug user friends come up with such a hokey story like the one you rambled on and on about. a girl gets hit by a car! drive by shooting! prostitutes! AIDS! scary! and i'm sure, only in the imaginations of aspiring hollywood screenwriters, that sort of thing might happen.
symbolism explained: the crow mask, the graveyard: the character, while watching TV (something he has been doing for a very long time), realizes his own mortality and in doing so, attempted to escape. when he used drugs, the mask eventually came off in that escape. but immediately the next morning he wakes up to find himself back in the graveyard. if you listened to (or understood) the dialogue, the divergences i took in the film are self-explanatory. if you watched the film a bit longer, you would have seen what other topics i discuss (literacy, religion, friendship, goals) and what the achievement at the end is.
and i've very fortunately cconvinced some of my stupid, frittering, drug-using, low-class, loser friends that you so modestly spoke of to quit partying incessantly and attempt to achieve something meaningful. what's most interesting is that they have longer attention spans and better critical thinking skills than you do when interpreting the film. and not only did it affect my friends, but many other viewers online who have similar issues. but, after all, people who do drugs are just failures without real problems; they aren't attempting to escape abuse or neglect; they aren't attempting to find solace in peers driven by an advertisement society which promotes these things through screenplay ideas like yours; they never can create anything worth watching or reading; and they never should be listened to.
thanks, Kim! you've really done a great job of reviewing me and my film.
thanks!
i truly enjoyed your base assumptions and long digression on a totally gnarly drug movie idea! my film was not a promotion of drug use, rather a repudiation. and i don't do drugs, but am surrounded, in my caste, by people who do in attempt to escape achieving something meaningful. but, wow, i've never heard one of my drug user friends come up with such a hokey story like the one you rambled on and on about. a girl gets hit by a car! drive by shooting! prostitutes! AIDS! scary! and i'm sure, only in the imaginations of aspiring hollywood screenwriters, that sort of thing might happen.
symbolism explained: the crow mask, the graveyard: the character, while watching TV (something he has been doing for a very long time), realizes his own mortality and in doing so, attempted to escape. when he used drugs, the mask eventually came off in that escape. but immediately the next morning he wakes up to find himself back in the graveyard. if you listened to (or understood) the dialogue, the divergences i took in the film are self-explanatory. if you watched the film a bit longer, you would have seen what other topics i discuss (literacy, religion, friendship, goals) and what the achievement at the end is.
and i've very fortunately cconvinced some of my stupid, frittering, drug-using, low-class, loser friends that you so modestly spoke of to quit partying incessantly and attempt to achieve something meaningful. what's most interesting is that they have longer attention spans and better critical thinking skills than you do when interpreting the film. and not only did it affect my friends, but many other viewers online who have similar issues. but, after all, people who do drugs are just failures without real problems; they aren't attempting to escape abuse or neglect; they aren't attempting to find solace in peers driven by an advertisement society which promotes these things through screenplay ideas like yours; they never can create anything worth watching or reading; and they never should be listened to.
thanks, Kim! you've really done a great job of reviewing me and my film.
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