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desktopmunchies
Guest
This is a script for a short film I might make pretty soon. I just thought I would post it here so I can get some criticism on it.
Ext. Sidewalk - Day
A trash can, full of garbage, sits alone. Through the quiet bustle of street noise there comes another noise, shopping carts pacing along the sidewalk. We finally see two bums appear from opposite sides (shopping carts included). Their carts bump into each other and they stop in front of the trash can.
Two Toothed Jimmy, on the left, wears an assortment of clothes that all look as if a dog had chewed out some of the fabric, and then took a big steaming dump on them. Crooked Eyes Ernie, right, wears the same style of clothing as Jimmy. Both hobos push shopping carts full of aluminum cans and an array of collectibles and personal items.
The bums exchange looks as they stand bewildered as to what to do. Finally, Ernie breaks the tension and reaches for the trash can. Before he can, Jimmy gently rams his shopping cart into Ernie’s. Ernie returns the action with a gentle ram into Jimmy’s shopping cart. Jimmy then walks up to Ernie’s shopping cart, grabs the front, and pushes it far away. Ernie runs to retrieve the cart.
While Ernie is away Jimmy takes the top off the trash can and starts rifling through the garbage. Before he finds anything good he is hit in the head with a moist, rotten, moldy orange.
He looks at Ernie, takes off his worn out hat and gazes at the mess. His face fills with anger.
Jimmy grabs his cart, in a fit of anger, and starts running towards Ernie and his shopping cart. Ernie’s cart is knocked over and all of his aluminum cans, personal items, and collectibles are spilled all over the ground.
Both hobos are now in a fit of rage. They start fighting each other (with hands this time). Ernie gets Jimmy into a daze and darts for the trash can. Jimmy wasn’t stunned enough. He runs after Ernie and tackles him to the ground. Jimmy then runs for the trash, but Ernie grabs his feet and Jimmy trips and falls. Both bums are now on the ground, tired and bruised.
As they both lay panting from exhaustion, a garbage man walks up to the trash can, grabs the garbage, and puts a new bag in. He walks away, but stops himself. He sets the garbage down and walks back to the trash can, picks up the top of it from the ground, and gently places it back on. He goes back to the trash bag, picks it up and walks away completely ignoring the two beaten up bumps laying on the ground.
The End
Ext. Sidewalk - Day
A trash can, full of garbage, sits alone. Through the quiet bustle of street noise there comes another noise, shopping carts pacing along the sidewalk. We finally see two bums appear from opposite sides (shopping carts included). Their carts bump into each other and they stop in front of the trash can.
Two Toothed Jimmy, on the left, wears an assortment of clothes that all look as if a dog had chewed out some of the fabric, and then took a big steaming dump on them. Crooked Eyes Ernie, right, wears the same style of clothing as Jimmy. Both hobos push shopping carts full of aluminum cans and an array of collectibles and personal items.
The bums exchange looks as they stand bewildered as to what to do. Finally, Ernie breaks the tension and reaches for the trash can. Before he can, Jimmy gently rams his shopping cart into Ernie’s. Ernie returns the action with a gentle ram into Jimmy’s shopping cart. Jimmy then walks up to Ernie’s shopping cart, grabs the front, and pushes it far away. Ernie runs to retrieve the cart.
While Ernie is away Jimmy takes the top off the trash can and starts rifling through the garbage. Before he finds anything good he is hit in the head with a moist, rotten, moldy orange.
He looks at Ernie, takes off his worn out hat and gazes at the mess. His face fills with anger.
Jimmy grabs his cart, in a fit of anger, and starts running towards Ernie and his shopping cart. Ernie’s cart is knocked over and all of his aluminum cans, personal items, and collectibles are spilled all over the ground.
Both hobos are now in a fit of rage. They start fighting each other (with hands this time). Ernie gets Jimmy into a daze and darts for the trash can. Jimmy wasn’t stunned enough. He runs after Ernie and tackles him to the ground. Jimmy then runs for the trash, but Ernie grabs his feet and Jimmy trips and falls. Both bums are now on the ground, tired and bruised.
As they both lay panting from exhaustion, a garbage man walks up to the trash can, grabs the garbage, and puts a new bag in. He walks away, but stops himself. He sets the garbage down and walks back to the trash can, picks up the top of it from the ground, and gently places it back on. He goes back to the trash bag, picks it up and walks away completely ignoring the two beaten up bumps laying on the ground.
The End
