B
bnavapolo
Guest
first post ever. i'm a high school senior and in advanced video productions. we're going to be producing a short film later this year. i've come up with a handful of script ideas over the past week and typed up synopsises for them. please help me by telling me which are good, which are bad, why, how to improve, which to develop and actually write a script for. i'm up for any advice so hold nothing back. Thanks!
SCRIPT IDEAS!
* a mockumentary about a superhero who is losing his powers and having trouble dealing with his new self. (superpower is that he can freeze time)
* a high school student filmmaker is having trouble coming up with a decent script for his film class. it's the night before the script is due and he is up writing and rewriting, ubable to create a good story. He trashes try number seven and starts eight fresh. He thinks about writing a horror story. His character travels through a graveyard in search for the treasure of a local, dead millionaire. In the graveyard he is attacked by the ghost of the millionaire. Realizing it's past 2 AM our writer decides to get a snack. The fridge is empty so he checks in the garage. While in there he hears noises like the ones he's describing in his story. A little spooked he goes back to work on an empty stomach. He's typing and hears a rapping on the window, shocked as hell he jumps and spins looking at the vacant window frame. Now he is paranoid. He closes and locks his door, draws the blinds on his window, turns on all the lights and tv. Even though all of this he is still scared out of his mind. quietly at first there's a knocking on the door, then he can hear fiddling with the outside lock. His eyes dialate, he's sweating like crazy, he can't breath and then lock clicks and the door slowly opens. the writer's imaginative mind takes hold and he imagines something horrible coming his way. He had a heart attack and is unconscious. after hearing the thud, his mother opens the door quickly to see her collapsed son.
* A caring familyman is desperate to get money to pay the bills. He's out of money becuase he's been betting after work and coming home late. Instead of taking the bus home he decides to walk and ponder how to get some monely to start supporting his family again. While on his way he peers down an alley and sees three big guys in suits beating the crap out of a middle aged man. One of the big men see him and says "come here" the familyman runs for it but is cahsed down by the three suited men. They speak in italian and then the obvious leader says offers a deal, in return for his release they want him to make a hit. The familyman demands money in return for him killing their target. they converse in italian again. then agree. he gets five thousand dollars which is enough to tie his bills over unti his next paycheck. they give him a gun, take him to the victim's home. he kills the man and teh italian suits take him home. when he comes home, he doesn't even say hi, he is in shock and feels very very guilty. a few days pass and one morning the italians follow him to work where they tell him they have another job for him. He eitther must take the job or get killed himself, so he accepts. they say to meet at the alley the next night. so he goes.
ENDING A: his son follows him to the alley. the father sees his son and is reminded of the guilt and depression he felt after the first murder and decides not to go thru with it again. in a moment of honor, dignity, and courage he tries to shoot the italian men and make an escape. he succeeds....or doesn't.
ENDING B: as he goes to the alley he is followed by his son. The son stays hidden and no one sees him. He makes a noise and all four men turn toward the boy is hidden from sight. all four are on edge now. the italian guys give him the gun and he fires two practice shots. The son thinks he is shooting one of the italians from his point of view and runs out screaming "no!". the italian guys jsut see darkness and fire towards teh scream. their shots kill the son. The man runs and hugs his son's lifeless body.
* A group of girls talks openly about sex, drugs, and alcohol. Most of them feel very comfortable with their constant, enjoyable use of all three. Their openness and endorsement semi-pressures one of the girls to start experimenting with drinking and sex. she loses her virginity to a guy who ends up treating her like crap. when she's with her friends she tries to appease them and sound cool so she brags about how great it was even though she is torn up inside. at home and in the bathroom she cries then composes herself before heading out into public. her now partying lifestyle haunts her when she is alone. her fakeness with her friends and feeling of abandonment brings on depression and self-destruction.
(there could be a happy ending where a close friend from teh group empathizes with her and helps her to be who she wants to be and not what the group wants to be)
* As a newlywed begins to feel neglected by her constantly working husband she takes on a lover in an affair. she later discovers her lover's wife is having an affair with the mom's husband. An odd "love-square" becomes defined and only the new wife and her lvoer know what is goign on. In a fit of rage she leaves her lover's hosue and drives home to find her husband with his lover. Without saying a word she walks up to her husband who is dumbfounded, and slaps him. then she tackles the woman. the woman hits her head on a table and dies from blunt force truama. then she turns her anger on her husband and kills him too.
*a man goes to random houses and leaves a note saying, "I am a murderer and in 10 minutes, I will kill you. enjoy the remains of your life." An angry, divorced father gets the note and races to say goodbye to his children after panicking fora few minutes. He calls the school becuase the school is more tahn 10 minutes away. He can't get a hold of them. The clock is ticking down and he debates calling his ex wife. he wants to apologize but doesnt want to give away his pride. He decides against it and goes down to his basement to hide. . he hears some noises as the clock is tickign slower than ever. finally after sweating it out the ten minutes are up. the man begins crying in a corner of his basement, gripping his baseball bat, previously for protection. In his new found elation and appreciation for life, he calls his ex wife to try to make amends. The man with the note watches the man through the window. Satisfied he walks to another house and leaves a note, sitting back and waiting to see his next victim.
(a "saw"-like theme: appreciate ur life)
FIRE AWAY! thanks
PS: titles are helpful too
SCRIPT IDEAS!
* a mockumentary about a superhero who is losing his powers and having trouble dealing with his new self. (superpower is that he can freeze time)
* a high school student filmmaker is having trouble coming up with a decent script for his film class. it's the night before the script is due and he is up writing and rewriting, ubable to create a good story. He trashes try number seven and starts eight fresh. He thinks about writing a horror story. His character travels through a graveyard in search for the treasure of a local, dead millionaire. In the graveyard he is attacked by the ghost of the millionaire. Realizing it's past 2 AM our writer decides to get a snack. The fridge is empty so he checks in the garage. While in there he hears noises like the ones he's describing in his story. A little spooked he goes back to work on an empty stomach. He's typing and hears a rapping on the window, shocked as hell he jumps and spins looking at the vacant window frame. Now he is paranoid. He closes and locks his door, draws the blinds on his window, turns on all the lights and tv. Even though all of this he is still scared out of his mind. quietly at first there's a knocking on the door, then he can hear fiddling with the outside lock. His eyes dialate, he's sweating like crazy, he can't breath and then lock clicks and the door slowly opens. the writer's imaginative mind takes hold and he imagines something horrible coming his way. He had a heart attack and is unconscious. after hearing the thud, his mother opens the door quickly to see her collapsed son.
* A caring familyman is desperate to get money to pay the bills. He's out of money becuase he's been betting after work and coming home late. Instead of taking the bus home he decides to walk and ponder how to get some monely to start supporting his family again. While on his way he peers down an alley and sees three big guys in suits beating the crap out of a middle aged man. One of the big men see him and says "come here" the familyman runs for it but is cahsed down by the three suited men. They speak in italian and then the obvious leader says offers a deal, in return for his release they want him to make a hit. The familyman demands money in return for him killing their target. they converse in italian again. then agree. he gets five thousand dollars which is enough to tie his bills over unti his next paycheck. they give him a gun, take him to the victim's home. he kills the man and teh italian suits take him home. when he comes home, he doesn't even say hi, he is in shock and feels very very guilty. a few days pass and one morning the italians follow him to work where they tell him they have another job for him. He eitther must take the job or get killed himself, so he accepts. they say to meet at the alley the next night. so he goes.
ENDING A: his son follows him to the alley. the father sees his son and is reminded of the guilt and depression he felt after the first murder and decides not to go thru with it again. in a moment of honor, dignity, and courage he tries to shoot the italian men and make an escape. he succeeds....or doesn't.
ENDING B: as he goes to the alley he is followed by his son. The son stays hidden and no one sees him. He makes a noise and all four men turn toward the boy is hidden from sight. all four are on edge now. the italian guys give him the gun and he fires two practice shots. The son thinks he is shooting one of the italians from his point of view and runs out screaming "no!". the italian guys jsut see darkness and fire towards teh scream. their shots kill the son. The man runs and hugs his son's lifeless body.
* A group of girls talks openly about sex, drugs, and alcohol. Most of them feel very comfortable with their constant, enjoyable use of all three. Their openness and endorsement semi-pressures one of the girls to start experimenting with drinking and sex. she loses her virginity to a guy who ends up treating her like crap. when she's with her friends she tries to appease them and sound cool so she brags about how great it was even though she is torn up inside. at home and in the bathroom she cries then composes herself before heading out into public. her now partying lifestyle haunts her when she is alone. her fakeness with her friends and feeling of abandonment brings on depression and self-destruction.
(there could be a happy ending where a close friend from teh group empathizes with her and helps her to be who she wants to be and not what the group wants to be)
* As a newlywed begins to feel neglected by her constantly working husband she takes on a lover in an affair. she later discovers her lover's wife is having an affair with the mom's husband. An odd "love-square" becomes defined and only the new wife and her lvoer know what is goign on. In a fit of rage she leaves her lover's hosue and drives home to find her husband with his lover. Without saying a word she walks up to her husband who is dumbfounded, and slaps him. then she tackles the woman. the woman hits her head on a table and dies from blunt force truama. then she turns her anger on her husband and kills him too.
*a man goes to random houses and leaves a note saying, "I am a murderer and in 10 minutes, I will kill you. enjoy the remains of your life." An angry, divorced father gets the note and races to say goodbye to his children after panicking fora few minutes. He calls the school becuase the school is more tahn 10 minutes away. He can't get a hold of them. The clock is ticking down and he debates calling his ex wife. he wants to apologize but doesnt want to give away his pride. He decides against it and goes down to his basement to hide. . he hears some noises as the clock is tickign slower than ever. finally after sweating it out the ten minutes are up. the man begins crying in a corner of his basement, gripping his baseball bat, previously for protection. In his new found elation and appreciation for life, he calls his ex wife to try to make amends. The man with the note watches the man through the window. Satisfied he walks to another house and leaves a note, sitting back and waiting to see his next victim.
(a "saw"-like theme: appreciate ur life)
FIRE AWAY! thanks
PS: titles are helpful too
