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ilikepir8s
Guest
Re: did you make this?
Re: did you make this?
I certainly did.
Shot and edited myself.
Re: did you make this?
KimWelch said:
I certainly did.
Shot and edited myself.
M
Mithos
Guest
It's not bad.
I'm going to make the suggestion that you don't use black frames in your movie to break up the clips. Black frames take your audience out of the action and tend to distract / pull people away from the experience. Otherwise, a good start.
I'm going to make the suggestion that you don't use black frames in your movie to break up the clips. Black frames take your audience out of the action and tend to distract / pull people away from the experience. Otherwise, a good start.
Tim Kolb
New member
Interesting...music narrative can be challenging, and I don't have any idea what sort of time/resources you may have been able to spend on the effort, but there are some nicely conceived shots in there.
Some suggestions:
Emotion is tough to push out through the screen with medium shots. Close ups of the girl's face and particularly, eyes would have helped us understand what was going on for her character...and the young man as well. Though his lack of individual shots seem to indicate he is the "bad guy" to me, as the focus on the girl seems to indicate we're empathizing with her...was that what you intended?
Also...photo burning. If the photo is of them as a couple or something pertinent to the story, what we need to see is what's in the photo--again close up-- with the flames consuming it, not the arm and the lighter and the hand...or at least don't carry the sequence with these shots.
I'll agree with the earlier comments on the black frames...very abrupt. Maybe if they are needed, a fade to black to begin them with a hard cut to the next video shot might be a way to symbolize a change in perspective...
Paper heart...again, some closeups would be effective here since it seems to be the base metaphor you're working with...
On the other hand...the first shots we see of the young man and young girl standing in front of what looks to be the same wall...the two medium shots are OK, but I'm not sure how much point-counterpoint you were intending there. In THIS case I wonder if a wide shot of the wall where a head to toe (or at least wider shot) was possible, then compose a shot with the girl left and another shot with the boy right and edit those two shots with no black frames in between...it might draw a clearer association between the two...
Everything is subjective of course...you were asking for opinions and these were mine. Keep going forward as the only way to do this stuff is to do it.
Some suggestions:
Emotion is tough to push out through the screen with medium shots. Close ups of the girl's face and particularly, eyes would have helped us understand what was going on for her character...and the young man as well. Though his lack of individual shots seem to indicate he is the "bad guy" to me, as the focus on the girl seems to indicate we're empathizing with her...was that what you intended?
Also...photo burning. If the photo is of them as a couple or something pertinent to the story, what we need to see is what's in the photo--again close up-- with the flames consuming it, not the arm and the lighter and the hand...or at least don't carry the sequence with these shots.
I'll agree with the earlier comments on the black frames...very abrupt. Maybe if they are needed, a fade to black to begin them with a hard cut to the next video shot might be a way to symbolize a change in perspective...
Paper heart...again, some closeups would be effective here since it seems to be the base metaphor you're working with...
On the other hand...the first shots we see of the young man and young girl standing in front of what looks to be the same wall...the two medium shots are OK, but I'm not sure how much point-counterpoint you were intending there. In THIS case I wonder if a wide shot of the wall where a head to toe (or at least wider shot) was possible, then compose a shot with the girl left and another shot with the boy right and edit those two shots with no black frames in between...it might draw a clearer association between the two...
Everything is subjective of course...you were asking for opinions and these were mine. Keep going forward as the only way to do this stuff is to do it.
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