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I was told that the scene I wrote where a woman picks up a man is poorly written and too cliched. The scene is a flashback within a scene, here: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B-Xsh5O2ZFssSDFpS1lYRWJxMWM/view?usp=sharing Or maybe it's just better to hire a script doctor to improve the...

Sorry... What I mean is, is that when you suggested the change, what is the theme of the new idea you are suggesting? That idea would have different themes in it, than the effects of the rape idea, so what would the new theme be that you had in mind?

Oh okay. So why do you think that should happen instead?

Okay thanks. Well I have read some law articles and the fourth amendment itself, and there really is no way around this law for my plot. The villain has already been found not guilty, earlier in the story, so the MC cop, cannot get any search warrants or wire tap orders in order from that...

In my story I have written out a few versions of it, put them away, then came back to look them over, and came up with some new ideas. Basically the premise is about a cop who is on the trail of a serial rapist/killer villain. He ends up becoming one of the rape victims himself while getting...

Well that is just it. He goes free halfway through cause of a lack of valid evidence. So the MC takes matters into his own hands. I wrote it so that he got caught by the MC taking matters into his own hands and recording conversations and getting evidence from cellphones. But legally it...

Well the villain goes free at the end of the first half. Why? Are you saying that the villain should perhaps go free again later, when the MC breaks laws to catch him?

Okay thanks. Well I think from readers have told me, they do not have as much of a problem with the MC breaking laws to catch the villains, it's the fact that it works, that they have a problem with. If an MC records a conversation without a wire tap order, the evidence cannot be used. If an...

Okay thanks for the advice. Well in my story, in order for any type of revenge plan to work to bring a killer to justice, the main character cop has to either try to find a way around the fourth amendment law, or I would have to throw the law out of the story altogether and pretend that it...

Okay thanks for the advice. In what way does it sound like there may be too many ideas, and that the goals may be unclear, just so I know? And I don't think the readers had a problem with the character's goals. They just said that they had a problem with their goals being unreachable in the...

Okay thanks. Sorry, could you be more specific with that Breaking Bad idea, if that's okay?

Okay thanks. I already made a list and there are two ideas which I think may be the best the so far. This is one of them. As for trying to cram as much escalation as I can, I feel like I could use more, but I don't want it to be forced. Like I want the characters to do what I feel they would...

Okay thanks. Well the first half relies a lot more on legal technicalities to the tell the story. The first half is a courtroom thriller more, so, then the last half turns into a revenge thriller, where the technicalities are more disregarded. Could this perhaps be the problem with readers?

Well when it comes to thrillers and how I am writing this one, one thing reader's tell me, is I am not being realistic enough. But how important is realize in a screenplay, since many movies bend realism for drama? For example, in the movie The French Connection (1971), Popeye Doyle, after...

Okay thanks. In this case, I guess it would be steaks then and not an escalation at this point. If there is no escalation at this point does that automatically make it a de-escalation? Which one should I go with then for whether or not I should reveal the surprise early on?

Okay thanks. By escalation vs. deescalation, I assume you mean raising the steaks vs. not raising them,. Well I think that either showing the character faking his death, vs. the audience thinking he actually died both raises the steaks, but in different ways. As for having his plan screw up...

For my script, a character fakes his death as part of his plan, and I can either let the reader in on it right away, or wait till the climax where he will show up alive by surprise, not just to the other characters but to the reader as well. However, in order to hide the false death so it can...